November is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month and honestly, most people still don’t know what it means! So let’s cut to the chase, men’s mental health is something we don’t talk about enough! And when we do, it’s usually because something bad has already happened. Which makes me sad, as it’s so unnecessary!
So stop what you’re doing, and let’s talk about it, right here, right now! And if you find this blog post useful, let me know in the comments.
You can also watch me talk about this on my YouTube channel.
The Stigma Around Men and Mental Health
Let’s face it, there’s still a huge stigma when it comes to men and mental health, and that’s a massive shame. Those that know me know that I am a qualified mental health advocate. That means it’s my role to break the stigma around mental health in general, and men’s mental health in particular.
So, I want to say, as clearly as I can: It’s OK to Not Be OK. But it’s equally important that we learn that it is OK to speak up and ask for help. What I’m trying to say is, it’s OK to admit that you’re struggling and that you need help. You don’t have to bottle it up inside and pretend everything is fine. You shouldn’t have to put your game face on.
Growing Up with the Wrong Message
I grew up believing that you had to be tough, you had to keep it all in, that you couldn’t talk about your feelings, you couldn’t talk about your emotions. And if you did, you were called weak (amongst other things). But the question I have is why are men made to feel this way when they try to talk about their mental health? When they want to talk about their feelings?
Truth is, I have no idea. But I think we need to start breaking the stigma by just doing a few things, like stop using phrases like ‘man up’, or ‘get a grip’.
Real Strength and Courage is Being Able to Show Your Feelings
Mental illness, whether it’s stress, anxiety, depression or if you’re just struggling in general, is not a sign of weakness. It never has been. Some of the strongest men I know are the ones who have fought every day just to get out of bed. The ones who have fought mental illness, confronted it head on and admitted they need a little help.
Going to therapy is OK. Asking for help is OK. It’s much, much better than the alternative. Admitting that you need help and support doesn’t make you any less of a man. In fact, if I’m being completely honest, that’s a real strength, and it takes enormous courage. So don’t ever put up with being called weak when you seek help. Those that turn their shoulder or try to make you feel small are often either narrow minded, so don’t let them make you feel small. You’re worth so much more than that.
Some may even be in a similar place as you but haven’t found the courage to speak up.
So I’ll say it again, It’s OK To Not Be OK! It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It just means you’re human. It’s also OK to seek help from your doctor, something I can’t recommend highly enough. However, if you’re not ready to take that step and speak to your doctor just yet, then if you’re in the UK, here’s some other free resources you can tap into:
* https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-having-difficult-time/talk-tips
* https://giveusashout.org/get-help/resources/mens-mental-health/ (or simply text SHOUT to 85258 – straight down then up in the middle of your phone’s keypad)
Why Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month Matters
And the whole point around Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month is to shine a light on men, to let them know it’s okay to talk about your feelings. It’s okay to go to therapy. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay if you’re dealing with mental illness.
In the UK, suicide is the single largest cause of death in men under the age of 50. 4200 men each year (that’s nearly 12 men a day) commit suicide as they feel there is no other option left. And that’s wrong!
Let that sink in for a second. 12 men a day commit suicide as they feel there is no other option left. That doesn’t mean they want to die; they just reach the point where they feel that is the only way to find release from the battle going on in their head.
My Personal Story
I’ve been there, sitting alone on the bathroom floor, feeling like the walls are closing in. Days when I felt that I couldn’t do it any longer. I’ve stood on a railway platform and flipped a coin, to decide whether to get on the next train, or to do something else…
One flip of a coin. Heads or Tails.
Fortunately, for me it was something else. The coin landed on tails. I sought help. I got on the next train. I rocked up at my doctor’s surgery and asked for an emergency appointment. The receptionist saw that I needed help and told me to wait in reception. I spoke to my doctor that morning. She listened to me as I broke down and cried. She didn’t judge; she just listened. And the result was that I was able to get help. I was booked in to see a therapist, and it was probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me. And I learned that I didn’t have to do it all alone. And neither do you. Over the years, I’ve developed a number of tools to help me when I’ve need a boost. You can check out 5 of my favourites here.
So If You’re Struggling, Please Talk to Someone
So, if you’re struggling, talk to someone. Take that first step. Don’t wait until it gets worse. Don’t wait until you feel you have to flip that coin. Remember, you’re allowed to ask for help. You’re allowed to say ‘I’m Not Okay’.
If you’re going through something similar, please know you’re not the only one. There’s support out there, and things can get better. Because staying silent doesn’t make you strong. Speaking out, that does. Asking for help, that does too.
So, I say it again; sometimes, it’s OK to Not Be OK!
The Message Every Man Needs to Hear
Ultimately, during Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month (actually, in any month), I want men to know there are support networks there for you. You just need to take that first step.
So I am here to tell you now, guys, that it’s OK to talk about your feelings. It’s OK to go to therapy. It’s OK if you’re struggling with a mental illness. That does not make you less of a man.
Thank you so much for stopping by. What do you think about Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month? Let me know in the comments below. And if you know anyone else that might need a helping hand, why not share this post with them.
You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s travel this path together, because together, we are unbeatable.
Take care of yourself and remember; it’s OK to NOT be OK! Take that first step, reach out and speak to someone. Today. Because there are brighter days ahead.