As we move into a brand-new year, we inevitably reflect on what was and make plans to make changes in our lives. We take stock, look around and see what we would like to become. We tell ourselves this is the year that things change, once and for all.
For many of us, that reflection quickly turns into diet plans, weight loss targets, and strict exercise rules. And for a week or two, it can feel motivating. Then reality steps back in and gives us a tap on the shoulder. As our work/ life balance gradually returns to those pre-Christmas levels, our energy takes a dip. Those grand plans feel hard to maintain, our motivation fades, and often, we end up feeling worse than when we started. Sound familiar?
So, if you’re trying to make healthy lifestyle changes that last, the aim shouldn’t be seeking perfection. It’s more about making a few realistic, subtle changes you can repeat even when life gets busy, then gradually building on the small wins.
This year, I’m suggesting we try something different. Instead of the harsh diet resolutions, punishing exercise regimes and rarely used gym memberships; that we try to make more sustainable, more meaningful changes that will support our health, mood, and our quality of life in the longer term.
With that in mind, here’s the six intentions I can genuinely stand behind. The ones I’ve gradually developed over the last year; the ones I’ll endeavour to live by this coming year.
1. Show Compassion
This year speak to yourself with more compassion. Notice how you talk to yourself when you catch your reflection or pull on your clothes. Is it supportive? Or does it slip into that familiar territory of self-criticism?
Many of us say things during those little side conversations we have in our heads, that we’d never dream of saying to a friend. And yet we accept it as normal when it’s aimed at ourselves.
But mentally beating yourself up doesn’t make change easier. It makes it more unpleasant and less likely to be sustainable.
At this time of year, there’s often a strong urge to “undo” December; we’re all too quick to begin the harsh detoxes, revolutionary diet changes, or punishing workouts. Whilst it’s true that they might well produce fast results, they rarely last. Because punishing yourself won’t help you move forward in the longer term. Start with respect for your body and compassion for yourself.
So, this year, take a step back. Try and speak to yourself with the same fairness and compassion you’d offer someone you care about.
2. Be Patient
This year, be more patient with yourself. If we’re completely honest with ourselves, we often expect quick fixes; a kind of ‘short sharp shock’ tactic to fix the ‘not so good’ habits that took years to form. We slash those calories; we start an intense exercise challenge, and demand tangible results by February!
But most change happens gradually. Weight gain, fatigue, stress; these things usually build up slowly over time, often through small, repeated patterns. Having that extra dessert or scooping those leftover roast potatoes onto your plate; it all adds up. Therefore, it stands to reason that the solution works the same way.
Small adjustments won’t drain your energy or your enjoyment, because they ask less of your willpower. As a result, they are far more likely to become a habit. Consistency matters more than intensity. And let’s face it, your body shouldn’t be treated like a project with a deadline, so give yourself time, recognise the small milestones and above all, enjoy the journey.
3. Be Curious, Not Critical
This year, be curious rather than critical. If you’re unhappy with your weight or eating habits, it’s worth gently questioning where those expectations come from. Are they realistic? Are they shaped by comparison with the ideals and images that influencers continually flood your social media feeds with? Are you paying too much attention to the latest body trends?
So this year, instead of adding more rules, try asking better questions. Instead of judging yourself, try asking yourself, ‘Why does this matter so much to me?’
Be honest and ask yourself, ‘What do I believe I should look like, and where did that belief come from?’ Because sometimes the most important shift isn’t behavioural; it’s psychological. It’s questions like these that help with making long term behavioural change that I delve into in more depth in Momentum, my free weekly newsletter, dropped straight into your inbox every Wednesday.
4. Enjoy The Process
This year, find ways to enjoy the process. Motivation doesn’t come from discipline alone.
It’s the enjoyment of the process that keeps us going. Or more simply put, motivation sustains change, and enjoyment fuels motivation. If an adjustment makes your life harder and duller, you won’t stick to it. There’s a lot of mileage to be had from the K.I.S.S. acronym here, by which I mean, try not to overcomplicate things!
That applies to food, movement, and your daily routine. This year, try foods you actually enjoy. Keep the recipes simple and perhaps try cooking with someone else.
If the gym feels too intimidating, choose an activity that fits in your lifestyle, one that you enjoy. That could be walking, swimming, cycling; in fact, any physical activity that you can commit to, that doesn’t feel like you’re punishing yourself.
Yes, goals matter, but the bit in the middle matters more. If the process feels satisfying, even enjoyable; you’re far more likely to keep going, and more likely to achieve your goals.
5. Focus on Nourishment, Not Restriction
This year, focus on nourishment rather than restrictive diets. We’re normally pretty quick to label food as “good” or “bad”. A more helpful question is, ‘what supports me best?’
Foods that protect and nourish your brain also tend to support your heart, your mood, and your energy levels. When you think in terms of nourishment, the focus should shift from ‘what must I cut’ to ‘what can I add’.
So, this year, try adding more fibre. Add some colour to your plate. Add foods that leave you feeling satisfied, following the basics of a balanced, healthy diet as outlined by the NHS. Try and avoid processed foods, and stick to whole foods. If you’re unsure what this means, simply put, processed foods come out of a packet. Whole foods on the other hand, are the ingredients you use to cook a meal from scratch. Like fresh vegetables, fresh meat, seeds, nuts and pulses.
But this isn’t about achieving some kind of nutritional nirvana. It’s about covering your basics and feeding both your body and your mind. And yes, enjoyment still has a place. You can still have that cheeky dessert, and you can still have that occasional chocolate bar. It’s all about moderation. This isn’t about seeking perfection or about punishment; because it is vitally important that you are still be able to enjoy your food. It’s more about being mindful about what you actually consume.
6. Think Smaller Than You Think You Should
This year, try to think smaller than you usually would by default. My own eating habits didn’t change through some kind of epiphany or dramatic reset. They changed through making small upgrades over time.
For example, I’ve cut down on the amount of bread that I eat. Today, if I do eat bread, it is home baked so it is fresh and contains only essential healthy ingredients. This generally comprises of whole grains (wheat, spelt, oats, rye), with added seeds (flax, sunflower, pumpkin) for fibre and fats, and natural yoghurt for moisture.
If you’re gluten-free, dairy free, and/ or vegan, try using ingredients such as, almond meal, tapioca starch or arrowroot, coconut flour and non-dairy milk like hemp, almond or coconut.
I moved from processed cereals (think those tasty, sugar-coated ones…) to oats or wheat biscuits.
And we now eat fresh meat from a traditional butcher, rather than processed reformed meats or the water infused cuts you find in mainstream supermarkets. Nothing extreme. Each small tweak or adjustment was small enough to stick to. And the reason those changes stuck was because they were manageable, sustainable, and were built up steadily over time.
So, choose one or two adjustments. Let them settle into becoming a habit before adding more. Because although these small habits don’t look impressive on their own, once you build on them, stack them, they become the ones that last. The other benefit is that whole foods help to keep you feeling fuller for longer, so you’re less likely to snack between meals.
It’s important to avoid flipping everything overnight, because that kind of instant self-deprivation quickly leads to resentment; and eventually, that resentment will lead to rebellion which is just fancy talk for saying you’ll quit! So instead of saying ‘I can’t have xxx’, try saying ‘I’m adding xxx instead’.
Final Thoughts
If you want this year to feel different, you need to change your approach. Be patient, be realistic, and above all, be compassionate. Choose respect over punishment. Nourishment over restriction. Small changes that fit the lifestyle you deserve.
You don’t need a restrictive diet plan, or a punishing exercise regime to make steady progress. You need a sustainable, achievable process that you can live with; one that supports your wellbeing, protects your mental health, and leaves room for enjoyment.
So let this be the year you treat yourself with a bit more kindness, and trust that those steady, smaller steps really do add up and will deliver big results.
If you’d like to keep exploring this slower, more compassionate approach, I cover bite size tips and ideas in Momentum. It’s a free newsletter that drops straight into your inbox every Wednesday lunchtime, and focuses on small ideas that are easy to implement.